Whole Wheat Love

Post-Valentine’s sanity from the Yarn Harlot:

I just wish we would stop holding out these “I would die without your love” fairy tales to young women and men (we could lay off the older ones while we’re at it) and start talking about the sort of love that we should be honouring and asking kids to aspire too. Love that is good for the people who are in it and supports and encourages growth in both partners is to the Valentines Day sort of love as whole grain bread is to twinkies.

I personally am way, way more turned on and reassured about Joe’s love when he cleans the bathroom than I am when he brings me flowers. Don’t get me wrong buckaroos, I love the flowers, but they would be an entirely hollow gesture if the dude wasn’t coming to bed smelling a little like Vim once in a while. A beautiful card would mean little to me if Joe were not an equal partner in parenting, and chocolates would taste a little off if they were given to me while I was felt I was being denied proper support for my career and education within our loving relationship.

Having a day where the romantic performance of your mate and whether or not he or she gets you a card, flowers and chocolate (although I do like all of those things) is paramount takes the focus off of real love and real issues between mates….job sharing, equal education, support, loyalty…and who the hell is making dinner tonight and are both of your names on the mortgage anyway?


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