What is a friend?

First you are acquaintances, then you are friends. What’s the transition?

Today I was thinking about the difference between one stage and another. What happens?

Here’s what I think a friend is. You are truly friends when…

– you spend time together because you want to, for pleasure.

– the other person’s counsel and welfare become exceptionally important.

– the silence between you is comfortable.

– you are each yourselves when you are together.

– when the other person is not in your life, you notice.

– you help each other and rely on one another.

– there is mutual fascination, trust and understanding.

If you have something else to add, please comment!

6 responses to “What is a friend?

  1. shelley buranek flaherty

    Hello Jennifer,

    Congratulations on graduation and on the job at what sounds like a very cool company.

    Way back in 2007, I found your blog ’cause of knitting, Science, and living Asheville. We chatted briefly about being women in Science before I left for a US FWS job in Sacramento, CA. I am happily back in Asheville again and am looking forward to viewing your blog on a regular basis again.

    I see from earlier blogs you like poetry – were you at Wordfest 2010 on May 7 with David Whyte and Raul Zarita? Senor Zarita was intense but the light in me liked David Whyte’s poems better.

    By the way reading a great book you might enjoy (if you haven’t aready read it). Warped Passages Unravelling the mysteries of the Universe’s Hidden Dimensions by Lisa Randall, PhD.

    Great definition of friendship.

  2. HEY SHELLEY! Welcome back to Paradise. Did you ever find a home for your Prisoner VHS tapes? :)

    Thanks for your kind words about graduation.

    Sad to say I missed Wordfest. I don’t think you’re the first one to recommend Warped Passages to me, I will have to check it out!


    • shelley buranek flaherty

      Hey Jennifer,

      Yes I do still have the Prisoner tapes. They are buried in a box in the shed. Too hot to spend much time in there this summer, but i’ll keep the thought in the back of my brain for when we do the big shed cleanout this fall :)

      Also, is it okay if I copy your friendship definition to post to my facebook account? – attributed to you of course. Ill send you a friend request if I can find you on facebook.

  3. You hit the nail on the head – when you can sit in silence and not feel uncomfortable…they are no longer an acquaintance

    • This is most certainly a great way to measure the level of a relationship.
      In fact, I will intentionally introduce Silence in a new meeting with someone to gauge how far we have come.. Amazing how uncomfortable silence can be.

  4. You are also god friends when you share the same humor…

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